Monday, 3 October 2016

Trivial Shit That Really Pisses Me Off (AKA. 'It's a Conspiracy, I Tells Ya...')

DVD has long been a godsend for fans of world cinema, especially when the films you're interested in watching have either failed to pick up theatrical distribution in your country or are unavailable via streaming services. Having said that, it's not very reassuring to find the people responsible for marketing these home media releases either have absolutely no awareness of the content of the films they're trying to promote, or - and this is far more likely - are quite happy to mislead undiscerning DVD hounds with cover art that bears very little relation to the flicks they're pushing in the hop of making a quick buck. (As a fan of German and Russian cinema, I find this tends to be a regular feature of my consumer life.)

I therefore present some examples of this ignorant and, dare I say it, underhanded practice in the vain hope that someone at Entertainment One, Metrodome or the otherwise excellent Arrow Video is actually reading this. Now bring on the accused...

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Gagarin: First in Space - theatrical poster
Pavel Parkhomenko's 2013 film about Gagarin's flight aboard the Vostok 1 may be a commercial production in the Apollo 13 mould, but it marries together spectacle, historical accuracy and emotional resonance to such a degree that even the predatory, sub-John Williams score doesn't distract you from the drama at hand. It's hardly one of the greatest movies ever made, but it gets so many things right its faults don't seem to matter.

Gagarin: First in Space - DVD release
For some reason, the Entertainment One DVD shows Gagarin as a combination of Keir Dullea wandering around the Regency-era bedroom in 2001: A Space Odyssey, Sandra Bullock holding on for dear life in Gravity and John Hurt about to be orally-raped in Alien. The original theatrical poster may be a little clichéd with its profile shot of Yaroslav Zhalin gazing into eternity, but at least it's trying to be awe-inspiring rather than suggesting - somewhat cynically, I think - that the first human being's journey into space was, well, a bit boring.

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Anonyma: A Woman in Berlin - theatrical poster
Max Färberböck's adaptation of Eine Frau in Berlin, based on the anonymously published memoirs of a female journalist caught between sexual violence and emotional dependency in the dying days of the Second World War, was immediately controversial upon its release in Germany, and it doesn't require a doctorate in philosophy to understand why. Although it may not be the most sophisticated of films to deal with this subject matter, it's still a very powerful meditation on identity and gender politics that's still horribly relevant wherever women are caught in warzones and forced to compromise themselves, either against their will or to guarantee the safety of the people they love.

Anonyma: A Woman in Berlin - DVD release
"Fuck that: let's put Nina Hoss in a beret and make it look like an espionage thriller instead! While we're at it, we'll make the bloke stood next to her look like a Nazi of some kind. It's all right, no one'll know he's from the Red Army - unless they're the sort of sad bastards who watch the History Channel. And why don't we stick a bunch of planes in the background? Everyone loves an aerial dogfight. Actually, we could do with changing the title, too. What was that really good flick that came out a few years ago called? You know, the one about Hitler in the bunker?"

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Battalion - theatrical poster
While we're on the subject of women and war, we also need to discuss Dmitry Meskhiev's 2015 film Battalion: the very moving, at times harrowing, story of the Women's First Battalion of Death, set up by Alexander Kerensky's provisional government after the February Revolution to maintain the Eastern Front during World War One. Regardless of the production's shortfalls, I'm sure you'll agree Valeria Shkirando staring defiantly back at us from the theatrical poster packs an emotional punch in itself.

Battalion - DVD release
"Let's undermine the whole reason for this film's existence by showing a generic battlefield on the cover and have ABSOLUTELY NO MENTION OF THE PREDOMINANTLY FEMALE CAST ON THE BACK SLEEVE. So... can I have my money now?"