WordJam: February 2020

Friday 28 February 2020

Pussycat, pussycat, where have you been?

...Well, nowhere as it happens, but this last month has been a combination of stress, professional frustration and existential ennui. Still, you've got to laugh, haven't you?

I do, however, have a backlog of pieces from December that I'll be posting up very soon, then we'll crack on with the usual mixture of satire, reviews and snarky commentary. Oh yes, WordJam hasn't closed for business just yet.

In the meantime, a journalist from a staunchly (dare I say it) 'woke' publication recently contacted me to complain about the "problematic satirical focus" on this site (ie. the humour's a bit "edgy" and it isn't clear what my politics are). They also said that if I was as "bold" as half the things I post on WordJam I should stop being a coward and post a picture of myself.

Your wish is my command: here I am celebrating my birthday with a number of close friends (their identities have been protected). I'm also wearing my favourite t-shirt:

What do you make of that, then, Little M*ss Moral Compass? Is that problematic enough for you? I would post up images of me in my Jeremy Corbyn, Nigel Farage or Xi Jinping t-shirts, but you get the point.

Y'see, with all that virtue-signalling of yours you forget that real satire doesn't give a shit about your finer feelings or what position you hold on any given issue. In a strictly Swiftean sense, it's about placing an individual face to face with their own moral thought. (Not to mention stirring the shit from time to time, which may not be noble but it's honest.)

I make no great claims about my abilities as a writer, but all I know is if I'm getting feedback from people claiming to represent particular views - right, left or liberal - who have a problem with what I'm joking about rather than how I say it then that suggests I'm doing something right. Besides, there are plenty of not-so-subtle hints on WordJam that I'm not an "-ist" or a "-phobe". (Context, people: or don't they teach that in basic journalism anymore?)

Now we've cleared that up, I'd be happy to contribute to your article about the current state of satire. But let's make it clear: if you want this you don't misrepresent me or any of my readers, okay?

And on that note, I'd like to take this opportunity to express once again my gratitude towards WordJam's loyal, much-respected readership and thank you for your continued interest and support. This blog wouldn't exist without you. Make sure you stay tuned to WordJam, folks: the blog that will change your life. But don't just take my word for it. Remember how the great Jordan Peterson said there are twelve rules to becoming a happy and fulfilled individual? Turns out there are only two.

Thanks, Prof!

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Trivial Shit That Really Pisses Me Off (AKA: 'It's a Conspiracy, I Tells Ya...')

DVD has long been a godsend for fans of world cinema, especially when the films you're interested in watching have either failed to pick up theatrical distribution in your country or are unavailable via streaming services. Having said that, it's not very reassuring to find the people responsible for marketing these home media releases either have absolutely no awareness of the content of the films they're trying to promote, or - and this is more likely - are quite happy to mislead undiscerning DVD hounds with cover art that bears very little relation to the flicks they're pushing in the hope of making a quick buck. (As a fan of German and Russian cinema, I find this tends to be a regular feature of my consumer life.) I therefore present some examples of this ignorant and, dare I say it, underhanded practice in the vain hope that someone at Entertainment One, Metrodome or the otherwise excellent Arrow Video is actually reading this.

Bring on the accused...

Gagarin: First in Space - DVD release

For some reason, the Entertainment One DVD shows Gagarin as a combination of Keir Dullea wandering around the Regency-era bedroom in '2001: A Space Odyssey', Sandra Bullock holding on for dear life in 'Gravity' and John Hurt about to be orally-raped in 'Alien'. The original theatrical poster may be a little clichéd with its profile shot of Yaroslav Zhalin staring into eternity, but at least it's trying to be awe-inspiring rather than suggesting - somewhat cynically, I think - that the first human being's journey into space was, well, a bit boring.

2. Anonyma: A Woman in Berlin - theatrical poster

Max Färberböck's adaptation of 'Eine Frau in Berlin', based on the anonymous memoirs of a female journalist caught between sexual violence and emotional dependency in the dying days of the Second World War, was immediately controversial upon its release in Germany, and it doesn't require a doctorate in philosophy to understand why. Although it may not be the most sophisticated of films to deal with this subject matter, it's still a very powerful meditation on identity and gender politics that's still horribly relevant wherever women are caught in warzones and forced to compromise themselves, either against their will or to guarantee the safety of the people they love.

Anonyma: A Woman in Berlin - DVD release

"Fuck that: let's put Nina Hoss in a beret and make it look like an espionage thriller instead! While we're at it, we'll make that bloke stood next to her look like a Nazi of some kind. It's all right, no one'll know he's from the Red Army - unless they're the sort of sad bastards who watch the History Channel. And why don't we stick a bunch of planes in the background? Everyone loves an aerial dogfight. Actually, we could do with changing the title, too. What was that really good flick that came out a few years ago called? You know - the one about Hitler in the bunker?"