Saturday 2 June 2018

Agony Hour Extra: A journalist writes...


 Dear Richard,
 

As a serious news journalist dedicated to the pursuit of truth, I recently consented to fake my own death as part of a sting operation designed to expose the authoritarian excesses and human rights abuses of a large Eastern European country. Everything was going to plan until I made my surprise appearance at a government press conference, but now everyone's starting to question my ethics as a reporter and the validity of my accusations. What can I do to turn things around? Bearing in mind I need a UK passport, and quickly.

- A. Babchenko, somewhere in Europe

Richard says...

Whoa! Let's take this one step at a time, Babby Boy.

A "serious news journalist" doesn't fabricate news stories, even if you are working with a government that claims to be open and democratic (despite their record for corruption and compromising economic ties to a certain country in the Western hemisphere). Let's be honest, your intentions weren't honourable: you were simply - perhaps unwittingly - trying to exploit the ever-increasing tensions between the Eastern European power you mentioned, the Western part of the continent and the large country on the left-hand side of the globe who've wound up with a greedy, corrupt, glorified estate agent and sexual predator as their head of state. To be fair, the socio-political situation in the nation you were attempting to "expose" isn't perfect (far from it, in fact) - but people like you are dangerous. You feed misinformation, prejudice and hatred, purporting to tell the truth when actually you're just manufacturing it to fit a more lucrative narrative.

I'm pleased you're alive and well, but you don't have - and now, never had - the right to call yourself a journalist. As for your concern about recrimination, there's no proof the large Eastern European country you're worried about executes reporters. Having said that, it's probably best not to stick around in your present locale: if what I've read is true, the intelligence services there aren't very kind to the press.

Either way, I wish you the best of luck. God knows you're gonna need it.