WordJam: Introducing the WordJam Message Board!

Sunday 22 December 2019

Introducing the WordJam Message Board!

Lonely this Christmas? Fed up arguing with friends and family members about gender pronouns or the pros and cons of Brexit? Perhaps you just wish the festive season would GET A FUCKING MOVE ON so you can get back to normality for another year, away from the orgy of commercial excess, faux-spirituality and asinine trivia?

Either way, the WordJam Message Board is here to help! You're just one click away from making new friends, discovering whole new vistas of philosophical thought, and maybe even a renewed sense of purpose in this crazy, unpredictable world of ours. So what are you waiting for? Log in to join the conversation now!

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Today's topic: Will you watch the Queen's speech this year?

JUstinBieberLover3988864592 - December 22, 18:43

Y shud we hav to here wat that misererble old witch ses jus cos its her birthday?

MelGibsonIsGod - December 22, 18:44

Its Jesuses birthday, retard.

JUstinBieberLover3988864592 - December 22, 18:50
oh yeh

RainbowPrincess456 - December 22, 19:06
The next Queen should be Trans like Princess Michael. The lack of LGBTQIA+ representation in the British royal family is disgusting. The only openly non-heteronormative sovereign we've had was Edward II, and he got a red-hot poker shoved up his arse.

WhoWatchesTheWatchmen9/11 - December 22, 19:11
Wonder if (((Jeffrey Epstein))) ever visited Buckingham Palace? Home of the (((Saxe-CoB(E)RGS)))! While we're on the subject, do we know if (((Prince Andrew))) is friends with (((George Soros))) and (((Mark Zuckerberg)))? Does he own a (((Soda Stream))), or does he just like (((JUICE)))? The (((Queen))) must tell us: (((she))) can't (((hide))) the (((truth))) any (((more))).

RussiaBot1917 - December 22, 19:16
How can Jesus exist if we have dinosaurs? Evolution, peeps. Watch Jurassic Parck.

FrogoBaggins6699 - December 22, 19:21
Jurassic park is a piece of shit. Totally unbelievable and just stupid. Theres more evidence that hobbit's exist than dinosaur's.

justiceleague11939 - December 22, 19:22
What's you're evidence?

RussiaBot1917 - December 22, 19:23
Yeah.

FrodoBaggins6699 - December 22, 21:04
Neeanderthals, stupid.

MelGibsonIsGod - December 22, 21:05
Theres nosuch thing as dinosores or neelanderthals. Read yore bible idiots.

FrodoBaggins6699 - December 22, 21:06
Fuck you, jesus boy.

MelGibsonIsGod - December 22, 21:07
Thats offensive.

FrodoBaggins6699 - December 22, 21:11
Its not offensive its FACT. We got bone's for neanderthaal's but no bones for jesus.

justiceleague11939 - December 22, 21:17
Maybe Jesus was a Metahuman like Wonderwoman or Aqua Man?

RussiaBot1917 - December 22, 21:18
Or Superman.

justiceleague11939 - December 22, 21:23
Super Man isn't a Metahuman. He's from Krypton.

RussiaBot1917 - December 22, 21:24
Same diff.

justiceleague11939 - December 22, 21:26
It's not the same. Metahuman's are born on Earth. Super Man come's from an other planet.

MelGibsonIsGod - December 22, 21:28
Jesus didnt come from a nother planet. Hes from heaven.

FrodoBaggins6699 - December 22, 21:31
Youre missing the point. Jurassic park is unbelievable and hobbits exist. Accept it.

JUstinBieberLover3988864592 - December 22, 23:49

They shud dig up prinsess diana an clone her. she wouldnt mind.

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Trivial Shit That Really Pisses Me Off (AKA: 'It's a Conspiracy, I Tells Ya...')

DVD has long been a godsend for fans of world cinema, especially when the films you're interested in watching have either failed to pick up theatrical distribution in your country or are unavailable via streaming services. Having said that, it's not very reassuring to find the people responsible for marketing these home media releases either have absolutely no awareness of the content of the films they're trying to promote, or - and this is more likely - are quite happy to mislead undiscerning DVD hounds with cover art that bears very little relation to the flicks they're pushing in the hope of making a quick buck. (As a fan of German and Russian cinema, I find this tends to be a regular feature of my consumer life.) I therefore present some examples of this ignorant and, dare I say it, underhanded practice in the vain hope that someone at Entertainment One, Metrodome or the otherwise excellent Arrow Video is actually reading this.

Bring on the accused...

Gagarin: First in Space - DVD release

For some reason, the Entertainment One DVD shows Gagarin as a combination of Keir Dullea wandering around the Regency-era bedroom in '2001: A Space Odyssey', Sandra Bullock holding on for dear life in 'Gravity' and John Hurt about to be orally-raped in 'Alien'. The original theatrical poster may be a little clichéd with its profile shot of Yaroslav Zhalin staring into eternity, but at least it's trying to be awe-inspiring rather than suggesting - somewhat cynically, I think - that the first human being's journey into space was, well, a bit boring.

2. Anonyma: A Woman in Berlin - theatrical poster

Max Färberböck's adaptation of 'Eine Frau in Berlin', based on the anonymous memoirs of a female journalist caught between sexual violence and emotional dependency in the dying days of the Second World War, was immediately controversial upon its release in Germany, and it doesn't require a doctorate in philosophy to understand why. Although it may not be the most sophisticated of films to deal with this subject matter, it's still a very powerful meditation on identity and gender politics that's still horribly relevant wherever women are caught in warzones and forced to compromise themselves, either against their will or to guarantee the safety of the people they love.

Anonyma: A Woman in Berlin - DVD release

"Fuck that: let's put Nina Hoss in a beret and make it look like an espionage thriller instead! While we're at it, we'll make that bloke stood next to her look like a Nazi of some kind. It's all right, no one'll know he's from the Red Army - unless they're the sort of sad bastards who watch the History Channel. And why don't we stick a bunch of planes in the background? Everyone loves an aerial dogfight. Actually, we could do with changing the title, too. What was that really good flick that came out a few years ago called? You know - the one about Hitler in the bunker?"