1. Divorce, Suicide and Other Forms of Closure by Ingmar Schnitzel (short story collection)
2. The Tyranny of Soap by Martin Loofah
3. Legs: Your Forgotten Friends by Perry Ambulate
4. Oliver Twist Rides Again by Charles Dickens (no relation)
5. Oliver Twist Goes to Monte Carlo by Charles Dickens (still no relation)
6. Haiku Mania (poetry anthology)
7. Yellow is the Color of Cowards and Sick by Sax Rohmer
8. This Banana is Loaded by Aurora Snark
9. Bucephalus Doesn't Live Here Anymore by Lawrence Equine
10. Harry Potter and the TERF Defamation Wars by J. K. Rowling
11. Gangrene vs. Mould: A War of Attrition by Siegfried Götterdämmerung
12. Stormy Jockstrap by Jackie Collins
13. Paper: A User Guide (pamphlet)
14. Five Go to the Planet of the Apes by Enid Blyton
15. Why Does it Hurt When I Watch You Pee? by Frank Zappa Jr.
16. The Complete Works of Shakespeare by Christopher Marlowe
17. Applied Heuristics in A.E.N. Language Structures by Prof. Jeremy Magrs
18. Heuristics for Beginners by Prof. Paul Hoad
19. The Oxford English Dictionary
20. Velcro for Dummies
21. Roger Moore's Breath Smells Like Coffee and Old Leather by Albert "Cubby" Broccoli (memoir)
22. Prepucially Challenged by Howard Stern
23. Euphemisms Aren't the Only How's Your Father by Chortle Gusset
24. The Glory of Nylon by Dame Cynthia Croptop
25. I've Never Seen So Many Carrots by Stephenie Meyer
26. Bum Party by Col. Arnold Trubshaw (Rtd.)
27. The Dandy Christmas Annual 1993
28. Eagles May Soar But Weasels Don't Get Sucked into Jet Engines (trainee pilots' handbook)
29. WordJam by Richard English (plug)
30. Eggbound in Paris and London - George Offal
31. Oliver Twist Meets the Wolfman by Charles Dickens (the other one)
32. Tawdry Otters by Aldous Huxley
33. Pork Scratchings for Christmas by Mrs Beeton
34. Chairman Mao's Vasectomy by Rev. Ernst Blofeld
35. Nancy Drew in Bangkok by Carolyn Keene
36. The Oranges, Lemons and the Bells of St. Clement's are All Bastards by Richmal Crompton
37. The Shetland Pony Murders by P. D. James
38. Transformers: Dark of the Moon by Michael Morpurgo (novelisation)
39. Crazy Paving: The Silent Killer (safety poster)
40. Donkey Hotel by Miguel de Cervantes (pidgin English translation)
41. Tintin at the Nuremberg Trials by Hergé
42. Tintin in Spandau Prison by Hergé
43. Tintin Refuses the Blindfold by Hergé
44. Wedgefast and Trouser: A Gentleman's Guide by Alexander McQueen
45. Laughing Gear: My Life in Comedy by Noam Chomsky
46. Docile Phlanges by Lillian Muffwrangler
47. Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People Who've Read 'Why I'm No Longer Talking to White People About Race' by Coleman Hughes
48. Doctor Who: Privilege of the Daleks by Paul Cornell
49. Shit Happens (car sticker)
50. An Apple a Day is Another Victory for Our Reptilian Overlords by David Icke
