Wednesday, 9 September 2020
The UK Introduces New Rules on Social Distancing
Evenin' all! Sergeant Etchasketch here from the Everyborough Metropolitan Police Force. As you're no doubt aware, new Covid measures will be enacted in England from Monday making it illegal for more than six people from different households to hold social gatherings. Since this will be enforced by Her Majesty's Constabulary, rest assured in-between overseeing Defund the Police marches, taking the knee at Black Lives Matter rallies, standing idly by while a bunch of middle-class environmental activists disrupt people's livelihoods and slapping peaceful anti-mask demonstrators with excessive fines, my colleagues and I will be out in force the length and breadth of the land keeping an eye out for anybody flouting these safety measures. How we're going to enforce it in pubs and restaurants is anyone's guess, of course, but it's not for the police to ask questions: we just follow whoever's shouting the loudest.
Oh, and one more thing. Now the economy's going into freefall and unemployment's on the rise you may be anxious that these new precautions represent both a backwards step on the road to recovery and a dangerous erosion of our civil liberties. Well, let me assure you that as long as you keep your head down, avoid making eye contact with quota-obsessed, cavalier police officers, don't say anything negative about lockdown on social media and, more importantly, stay indoors, England's as free and healthy a country as any other to live right now. Goodnight all! And don't have nightmares...
Thursday, 3 September 2020
Alexei Navalny: The Burden of Proof
Well here we are again, folks: another alleged 'hit' by the Russian State that raises more questions than it answers. And like the dutiful little MI6/CIA sock-puppets they are, British and US news outlets are busy dusting off speculative stories about the actual and attempted murders of Anna Politkovskaya, Alexander Litvinenko, Boris Nemtsov and Sergei and Yulia Skripal to add a little spice to what is otherwise a fairly patchy narrative. Okay, the west's coverage of Alexei Navalny's anti-corruption campaigns and failed attempts at taking political office have always been absurdly light on facts, but this recent attempt to elevate him to near-martyr status is just a joke. But, be that as it may, we're not here to discuss his cynical, opportunistic ethnonationalism - that's a story for another day. Instead, I just want to share a few brief thoughts on some angles the MSM has wilfully overlooked in its rush to pin Navalny's purported Novichok poisoning on the Russian State.
Now before anybody out there accuses me of being a 'Russian bot', a 'Kremlin Stooge' or any of those other epithets people throw around to shut down debate (and believe me, I've had quite a few emails to that effect over the last couple of years) I'm not saying Russia's political system is without its problems or Putin is an unblemished saint, but this endless zero-sum game of smears, taunts and misinformation is not going to end well for anyone if we allow it to continue. With the US tearing up arms limitation treaties like they're going out of fashion and NATO pushing ever closer to Russia's borders we're going to have to wake up to the fact pretty soon that there are only so many times you can bait the bear before it bites back. Consider yourselves warned.