STRINGER BELL: Fuck you, you fucking bribe-taking motherfucker!
ANNOUNCER: Game of Thrones...
CERSEI LANNISTER: Oh, yes! Fuck me harder, you fucking dwarf bastard!
ANNOUNCER: And Chernobyl...
NUCLEAR TECHNICIAN: FUCKING HELL! MY FUCKING FACE IS MELTING!
ANNOUNCER: ...comes the drama to end all dramas.
Dialing tone, then-
VLADIMIR PUTIN: [answers] Da?
DONALD TRUMP: Volodya, it's Don. We've got a big fucking problem...
Cue music: "Renegade" by Styx.
ANNOUNCER: It was the scandal that shook a nation.
ROBERT MUELLER: Are you now, or have you ever been, working for the benefit of the Russian Federation?
PAUL MANAFORT: Hell, no! Ukraine, maybe...
ANNOUNCER: And now, after two years, 500 witnesses and $35 million, the truth can finally be told. Sort of.
DONALD TRUMP: So, we’re agreed: in return for helping me become President and protecting my business interests in Russia, my Chiefs of Staff will demonise your administration at every available opportunity, sting you with punitive sanctions, expel your diplomats on the most tenuous of pretexts, tear up our countries’ arms limitation treaties, and continue to risk engaging you in direct military conflict by supporting opposing sides in our proxy wars in the Middle East.
VLADIMIR PUTIN: Makes sense to me!
ANNOUNCER: This Fall, HBO - in association with Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, CBS, AMC, 21st Century Fox and Paramount - brings you the unbelievable story of how one man would stop at nothing to satisfy his hunger for power.
HILLARY CLINTON: Bill, have you been going through my emails?
BILL CLINTON: Oh, honey, not this again! We agreed, remember? What happens in Washington stays in Washington...
ANNOUNCER: The lives he touched along the way.
STORMY DANIELS: Oh, your hands are so tiny, sugar!
DONALD TRUMP: If you think that’s tiny you’re in for a real surprise, hot stuff...
ANNOUNCER: And the tested loyalties.
JAMES COMEY: You’re just a Garbage Pail doll in a suit.
DONALD TRUMP: You’re fired!
ANNOUNCER: With an all-star cast, featuring John Goodman as Donald Trump, Steve Buscemi as Vladimir Putin, Stellan Skarsgärd as Robert Mueller, and Dolph Lundgren as Hillary Clinton...
WILLIAM BARR: [Whimpers] I'm telling you, Hillary, there's no evidence of collusion!
She slaps him.
HILLARY CLINTON: JUST FOLLOW THE FUCKING MONEY, ASSHOLE! But, er, you know - don't look too closely at my finances, okay?
ANNOUNCER: That's Breaking the Bad Game Until the Soprano's Wire Throne in the West Wing is Six Feet Under, coming this October on HBO: the home of stodgy, expletive-ridden, sensationalist melodrama.
